reasons i'm writing, part 2

I realized after I wrote the initial post one other reason I'm writing: as a letter to the person I fall in love with in the future.

One of the hardest things for me to give up about my past relationship was our shared past. We started dating when I was 23 and I lived some of my most tortured years while we were together (some may well argue that some of that torture was the result of that relationship but that's a topic for another day). In essence, I became an adult and made some pretty serious life changes with him. We had this shared history that stretched even before our relationship and a web of friends and acquaintances and experiences that mattered to both of us.

[Sidenote: Now, some may say, opening a letter to one's future love with a stanza about one's ex is really truly bad form, but hey, this is still my story, for my eyes, right now.]

There will be new growth, change, shared experience, but not that early fumbling.

I want to record some of myself as it happens. I have this tendency to synthesize, to extrapolate, to try to go for the big picture and patterns, but I want to also remember the details of how I got there.

Actually, I think maybe this post is kind of creepy. Sorry man I may fall in love with in the future. Maybe this is a thought I should have kept to myself. Or just among girlfriends. In fact, maybe this blog is only for girlfriends. Beautiful crazy. Hee!