the couple below

The couple below me is fighting.

Her voice is strained: raw, threatening pained yelling, crying, desperation spilling up through the floor boards. His voice is lower, a mumble with occasional rises, almost impossible to make out.

I found myself paralyzed--these are sounds I do not forget and resonate all too well with some years with the ex. It's not something I talk about much because how can you ever really explain that feeling of pain and desperation. I just know I never want to feel it again and even being adjacent to it now is too close.

There were few people who directly saw how hard it was, though everyone close to me experienced it indirectly. During one of the worst periods, someone sent me this song. Listening to it today still gives me comfort (and chills).