competitive advantage

Being single for the first time in years has gotten me thinking about competitive advantage.

I've always figured my competitive advantage is the brains. There are a lot of hot girls in the world. And a fair number of cool ones, too. There are certainly many women who are nicer or sweeter than I am. It follows that I have generally been in relationships with men who prioritize for smarts and that those relationships tended toward the analytical.

It also follows that these dudes were not always particularly adept at appreciating other qualities in me or in life. But there's a lot else out there, and there's more to me. I usually consider myself a particular or acquired taste, and I realize there are many qualities people select for or are attracted to. Futhermore, there are other complicating factors: timing, life situation, geography.

For someone who is so preoccupied with considering her life right now, you'd think I'd have a better idea about my inidividual qualities--both positive and negative. But I'm also learning that I don't necessarily see myself as well as I perhaps once thought I did. 

I want to understand--what makes people like each other? What is it in particular that we each optimize for and when does it become not so much an intellectual exercise but an emotional one? Where is that tipping point?

That switch from weighing, evaluating, to just being--I love that--and I'm finding it's both easier and harder to accomplish as I get older.